


ill allow my ribs to be broken.

by unus_catboy



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, FTM, Fluff and Angst, Gender Dysphoria, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Phil Watson - Freeform, Sleepy Bois Inc Fluff, Technoblade-centric (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit - Freeform, Trans Male Character, Trans Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot - Freeform, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, female to male, sleepy bois inc - Freeform, trans author, unsafe binding, vent fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:53:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29926812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unus_catboy/pseuds/unus_catboy
Summary: trans boy techno for the soul, and for coping :D/smost chapters aren't connectedTw // dysphoria / mentions of self harm / unsafe binding
Comments: 2
Kudos: 111





	ill allow my ribs to be broken.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> had a bad dysphoria day, those are becoming more constant arent they,, anyway, I'll probably continue this as i have ideas

sure, technoblade had been socially transitioned for a while now. people called him the right name, used his proper pronouns, and knew he was a guy. he should be happy, right ?

then, why did he still feel like this ? why should he care about that random villager that used feminine pronouns, or called him the blood goddess ? they corrected themselves after, so why does he care ? maybe it was the fact that even though people knew his pronouns they still would slip up, did he look that much like a girl that they couldn't even remember when they saw him ? 

was his binding not enough ? when philza gave him the binder, he made sure to give him the rundown of wearing it. no exercise, no sleeping, not over 8 hours etc. but of course he wore it during battles, what else was he going to do. he fell asleep in it often, he didnt try to, but he would be exhausted and just pass out. sometimes phil would have to wake him up to take it off. was his crushed ribs not good enough for people to see him as a boy ?

people would question why he was so quiet, why he hardly talked. well, you wouldnt talk much either if your voice didnt match with what it was supposed to be. his vocal chords were damaged from purposefully lowering his voice constantly. he lived for the days he got sick, and his voice lowered on his own. phil also lived for those days, be because after he got over his worry, he got to listen to his son talk. making up for all the silent days. 

some days, the frustration, turned anger, turned sadness, got the best of him. those days he found himself knelt in the bathroom, blood running down his arms, crying so hard his voice would be gone the next day. it became, weirdly, a calm occurrence, for philza to come home, clean his sons wounds and lay him in his bed. talking to him until he fell asleep. the next morning, phil wouldnt bring it up, he never forced his son to talk about it. he just waited for his son to bring it up, sometimes he didnt, and they let it fade to the past. 

he hardly had to deal with transphobic people, his brothers wouldnt let them get to him. sometimes to a fault. one time, tommy came home from school with a busted lip and a bruise on his cheek. 

"... hey guys," he said laughing awkwardly.

"TOMMY WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED ?" their dad exclaimed running towards the boy. he apologized as his youngest flinched. 

techno looked up from his book, worry crossing his face for only a moment, before returning to its neutral state. 

"its nothing dad,, i got in a fight." he said, handing his dad, what technoblade assumed, was a note about his suspension.

wilbur oh so graciously decided to add, "doesnt look like much of a fight..." his dad gave him a look and he shut up, deciding to grab the first aid kit. 

"a fight tommy, seriously ? what have i told you about-" phil got cut off by his blonde son.

"HE FUCKING DESERVED IT DAD !"

philza pinched the bridge of his nose, "really tommy ? violence isnt the answer," techno snorted at that, remembering all of philzas less than passive journies. his dad glared at him, "*usually* the answer... what happened toms ?"

techno set his book next to him, frankly, he was curious how his brother got into this mess in the first place. he leaned forward and gave his youngest brother an expectant look. he shifted and attempted to pull his binder down more, to try and ease the aching feeling.

tommy sighed, "this kid, daniel or something, i dont know.. he started just saying stupid shit, i told him to stop, and then he said some other stuff, so i hit him."

their father sighed, "... what was he saying, tommy ?"

" i dont wanna say,," tommy crossed his arms, and suddenly his shoelaces were the most interesting thing hes ever seen.

wilbur entered the room again, with first aid kit in hand. phil sighed again as the tallest brother brought him to sit in a chair. tommy hissed as wilbur pressed a disinfectant wipe to his mouth. wilburs face flashed with guilt.

"tommy, i need you to tell me what he said, if it was something pointless then youll be in even more trouble." phil explained, his voice becoming stern again. tommy looked past wilbur, and looked at techno, his eyes wet from tears. techno finally got a good look at his face, the cut over his eyebrow, and the bruise on his cheekbone. anger found its way into the pink haired boys eyes, not a his brother, but at whoever hurt him. tommy flinched, focusing on the necklace that hung from his older brothers neck. 

"...he started talking about tech," tommy sounded like he was about to cry. "he kept calling him my sister, and made weird fuckin jokes, about him being trans. I told him to shut up, and he went, "or what ? whats your sister," and then he said his, whatever the fuck its called, deadname ? i dont know how he fucking knew it though, "gonna do about it?",,,, and he started laughing,, so i hit him. but he had some friends with him, so ya know, kind of unfair... i also got tubbo and ranboo ISS... cause they helped me... yeah.." 

silence hung in the air as they all registered what he said. 

"oh," was all phil had said. "are you done wil ?" he continued. "Uh," he came out of his thoughts, "yeah, yeah im done." he backed away from his brother. 

techno watched as a tear fell from his youngest brothers eye, before he could say anything, his dad was already sending the youngest to his room. "ill bring up dinner in a minute tommy, please go to your room,," there was no anger behind his words. tommy muttered a barely audible, "sorry," as he rushed past technoblade, up the stairs to his room. twchno wanted to call out to him, but stopped himself.

wilbur flopped down on the couch next to him. he rested his arm over his shoulders, but didint say anything. maybe it was a twin thing, but it felt like he knew exactly what was racing through the oldests head. techno jumped when the microwave beeped.

phil emerged from the kitchen, with a steaming bowl in hand. "heya tech, why dont you bring tommy his dinner, mm?" techno nodded quickly, grabbing the bowl from his father, and walking up the stairs.

he knocked quietly on his door, and heard a soft groan come from beyond the door. he took that as an invitation, so he allowed himself in the room. he gently set the bowl on tommys desk, and turned to face the youngest. he was in a pile of blankets, and the only thing visible was a single teary blue eye, and a tuft of blonde hair. 

"can i uh, " techno started with his normal tone of voice and cringing at the sound, he tried again, lowering his voice this time, "can i sit,, ?" tommy, huffed a laugh, "whatever you want big man." he shifted farther back on the bed, leaving a space for his brother. 

"i feel like i should be lecturin' you right now, about not bein' violent, but that would be hypocritical, wouldnt it ?" his brother let out a soft laugh, *score !* ," uh, so ill just say, im sorry-" tommy threw the covers off him at that, his cheek already beginning to swell.

"the fuck are you sorry for ? i got into that fight, thats on me man," tommy looked genuinely confused, that somehow made technoblade feel worse. "well, i mean, if i was just cis then-" his brother cut him off again. "OH FUCK OFF," his brother burst into a fit of laughter. techno tilted his head in genuine confusion.

"dude, well, youre not, and its not like you c h o s e to be trans, thats just how things ened up, or whatever. so dont blame yourself for me getting my arse handed to me," he laughed again, more sad this time. he threw himself back into a laying position.

techno was at a loss for words. he really didn't know what to say, so he just threw himself at his brother, and hugged him as tight as possible. he made a startled noise, but eventually hugged him back. techno let go fairly quickly, and stood up.

he turned back and ruffled the blonde mop ontop of his brothers head, "thank you toms." techno responded sincerely. "yeah, yeah, yeah alright fuck off. can you hand me that soup though ?"


End file.
